Interpersonal Relationship Evaluation

     Interpersonal relationships are constantly cycling through phases of Knapp's Relational Model. It was interesting to learn about these phases because I can now look back on previous relationships and see the changes that came about in a whole new light. 

    An important interpersonal relationship to me is my relationship with my boyfriend. Considering we have known each other since preschool, we have been through a lot of the phases of Knapp's model already, so I feel this is a good relationship to examine. The first phase, initiating, took place in preschool. We were introduced and knew of each other at that point. The experimenting phase came about more in Junior High, where we became interested in each other and started to converse on a more consistent basis. Once we were in high school we reached the intensifying stage, where our relationship became much closer. We got to know each other on a more personal level and he became a good friend, even meeting some family and giving my younger brother rides home from school. We talked often and hung out with some of the same groups from time to time. It wasn't until after we graduated high school that we moved into the integrated phase, where we began to spend more time together one-on-one. we went to each others houses and attended some of the same social functions. We went for walks and had conversations on a much deeper level and would go out for meals together. 

        At this point, I believe that I experienced a misinterpretation of our relationship, based on my own traumatic past. We entered the avoiding phase for a short time because of perceptual constancy, where past experiences influence current perceptions. (McEwan, B (2015)) Due to this, I lacked the trust and ability to feel safe in a healthy relationship. I moved away and we quickly entered the terminating phase of Knapp's Relational Model. 

    After a couple years of not speaking, we started reaching out to each other through Facebook. We re-entered the phase of experimenting again. Over the course of around 20 years we slowly moved through the phases of intensifying and integrating, as we continued talking online. The last 10 years or so we had reached the bonding phase as best friends, and during that time was relationship maintenance. 

    The past year and a half we re-entered the bonding phase, as our roles in life had changed. "A role is the part you play in various social contexts." (McEwan, B (2015)) By now, both of us have experienced roles as the significant other in a very long term relationship (in my case a wife), he now has the role of a father, I am a mother, and even our roles at work and school have changed. Our perception of ourselves and of our relationships is different than it was 20 years ago. We are able to communicate much more effectively as the people we are now, which has helped us to avoid the same misinterpretations from the past. This bonding phase has brought us together as an exclusive relationship for the past five months. 

                                               

    I felt this relationship was the perfect example to showcase the many phases of Knapp's Relational Model, and how you can skip between phases, jump from the beginning to the end, and even restart phases again. Interpersonal relationships can change so much as our roles change, our perceptions change, and especially as we learn to communicate more effectively in our interpersonal relationships.

McEwan, B. (2015). Navigating new media networks: Understanding and managing communication challenges in a networked society. Lexington Books. Chapter 2